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2018 Buffalo Bills Olympic Games Roster

February 19, 2018

 

After watching countless hours of the 2018 Winter Olympics from Pyeongchang, South Korea, it had me wondering if the Buffalo Bills had to enter players into each of these events, which ones would be the best in each event and why. That led me to draft a roster of Olympic Athletes from Buffalo.

Event: Alpine Skiing 

Winner: LeSean McCoy

 

There is a reason they call him "cut on a dime". This is the perfect event for the back based on his agility and he's already proven multiple times in his career that he excels in the snow. Just hand Shady his Gold medal now. 

Event: Biathlon 

Winner: Nick O'Leary

 

I'm not sure if he can ski, but I do know he doesn't wear gloves in order to show off his dazzlingly dependable digits each week while catching the football. The raw grip of his fingers on the trigger despite the cold would be a deadly combination for the shooting part. He'll figure out the rest.

Event: Bobsled

Winners: I see pride, I see power, I see a team made up of Eddie Yarbrough, Lafayette Pitts, Malachi Dupre and Ramon Humber

 

I picked this cast of characters by thinking about the movie Cool Runnings and imagining the main characters of the movie saying these Buffalo Bills' names. That brought a big smile to my face and so the team was picked. 

Event: Cross Country Skiing

Winner: Lorenzo Alexander

 

His entire career he has trekked across the country from Baltimore, to Washington D.C., to Arizona to Oakland to Buffalo. He's gone from the east coast to the west coast and back to the east. What better person to enter an event with the term "cross country" in it.

Event: Curling

Winners: Eric Wood, Vladimir Ducasse, Dion Dawkins and Jordan Mills

 

This one was easy. Eric Wood has the most amazing curls in his hair, so how could he not know the most about curling? I threw in a bunch of his offensive line buddies as I know they like to operate as a unit. Richie was left out because he will be featured in another event.

Event: Figure Skating

Winner: Tyrod Taylor

 

In figure skating you need to dress flashy, while being graceful and mistake free. No one is better at mitigating risk in a performance than Tyrod Taylor. The question is will he build enough big chances into his routines in order to have a chance at the Gold?

Event: Free Style Skiing

Winner: Tre'Davious White

 

We've seen Tre'Davious bust out dancing plenty of times during stoppages in games this year. There is no doubt he has both the moves and the swagger to free style his way to Gold in this skiing competition.

Event: Ice Hockey

Winners: Steven Hauschka, E.J. Gaines, Jerry Hughes , Seantrel Henderson

 

In the spirit of the old Nintendo game where you could pick either fat, medium or skinny guys in a four man lineup I will stick with my same strategy of one fat, one medium and two skinny for my team. Hauschka is a proven scorer while Gaines brings the speed to my skinny guys. Seantrel Henderson will be a perfect screen and immovable force in front of the other teams net as my fat guy. Jerry Hughes is a steal as a middle guy and will bring an edge that is not normally welcomed in Olympic hockey.

Event: Luge

Winner: Richie Incognito

 

Richie seems like he would be really good at lying down on something for a period of time and letting his weight carry him wherever he needs to go.  Pour that man a drink with an umbrella in it and he's ready to luge.

Event: Nordic Combined

Winner: Mike Tolbert

 

He enjoys slowly moving across flat surfaces at a snails pace and occasionally trying to jump over people in space. He will get to use both of those skills while on skis in this event.  

Event: Skeleton

Winner: Kyle Williams

 

He proved in the Miami game that if you need someone to dive head first in order to help achieve a victory, Kyle is your guy. His one yard touchdown as a fullback proved that he could be a favorite to medal in this event.

Event: Ski Jumping 

Winner: Kelvin Benjamin

 

He has made a career plucking balls out of the air at their high point. The Ski Jumping event will test how well he can hit those high points while eliminating the need for him to concentrate on the ball. This should be a breeze for Benjamin.

Event: Snowboard

Winner: Nathan Peterman

 

After throwing 5 interceptions in one half, he showed the will and the determination to keep trying something no matter how many times you fail. That type of mentality will serve him well while training for the halfpipe. This event requires one to be unafraid of going for it all and trying a big move even if it's unlikely to be successful. Nathan has proven he's able to do that.

Event: Speed Skating

Winners: Micah Hyde and Jordan Poyer

 

I couldn't pick just one of the tandem. This duo deserves to stick together after the season they had. They were flying all around the Bills secondary making game changing plays for the defense. I expect them to glide around the ice in the Speed Skating competition just as quickly and easily.

That's my 2018 Buffalo Bills Winter Olympic Games roster. I feel pretty good about my teams ability to compete and unlike the Russians, my team isn't involved in any doping scandals (yet). Enjoy the rest of the Buffal-Olympic Games and remember nobody circles the Olympic Rings like the Buffalo Bills.

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