This past Sunday in Orchard Park, there were no lions, or tigers, there were just Bears - OH MY! The Buffalo Bills managed to fend them off in the 1st quarter but as soon as the second quarter began, the Bills were shredded by every type of bear imaginable. There were grizzly bears, black bears, polar bears, brown bears, panda bears, koala bears, and even Bear Grylls. It was so upsetting that I wanted a teddy bear but since I didn't have one, I settled for a heady beer.
For the second straight week, the opponents defense has scored more points than the Bills offense. At one point, I tweeted that the only way to see the Bills offense moving would be to drink so much alcohol that the television screen started to move.
There was one play in particular that did poetic justice to the Bills offense this season. On a 3rd and 9, Nathan Peterman decided to scramble to try and pick up the first down. It was like he was running in slow motion. I watched for what felt like hours, maybe days, as Peterman scrambled for 3 yards, well short of the first down leading to a Bills punt on their first possession which also felt like every other possession this season.
While the first quarter would end tied at 0, the second quarter was a whole different ballgame. The Bears blew the game open starting with a 1 yard run by Jordan Howard for a 7 to 0 lead.
Heading into the week, Terrelle Pryor said that the Bills were going to help Nathan Peterman "do great". Oh boy was that a total lie. It started when Nathan Peterman completed a pass to Jason Croom who lost it with a fumble that was returned for a 65 yard touchdown, increasing the Bears lead to 14 to 0.
Next up to help Peterman "do great" was the man who made the promise himself, Terrelle Pryor. On a pass from Peterman, Pryor could not pull it in and it tipped into a defenders hands for an interception. The Bills didn't let that interception lead to any points, but not long after, another Peterman pass would be picked off, this one at the line of scrimmage, and it was returned for a 19 yard touchdown by the Bears.
There was contact with the Bills receiver on the play but pass Interference wasn't ruled because the target was within 1 yard of the line of scrimmage according to the zebra people. Jordan Howard added another rushing touchdown before the end half and this game was officially over at 28 to 0.
In the second half, the Bills got a field goal, which sadly was one of their "highlights" of the game, to finally break the shutout. Another highlight of the second half was when Mitchell Trubisky threw a terrible pass to a wide open Tre'Davious White for an easy interception. Quarterbacks this season have generally been to scared to go White's way, so it was good to see Tre get an easy one.
On a fourth and 9, Kelvin Benjamin showed less heart when going up for the ball than the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz and allowed the cornerback to knock it out of his hands despite being a much bigger and stronger player. I'm also starting to wonder if he needs a brain like the Scarecrow based on how little effort he seems to be giving in a contract year.
While it's starting to sound like a broken record, the Bills offense is so bad that it hasn't scored a touchdown in weeks. It was 28 straight possessions without a touchdown but after a pass interference call got the ball down to the 1 yard line, the Bills were finally able to break their nearly three full game touchdown-less streak with a Nathan Peterman run. A failed two point conversion stopped the Bills from reaching the double digit point mark for the third week in a row.
Depressed yet? Let me cheer you up a bit...
While the final score of 41 to 9 looks horrible, the game wasn't nearly as one sided as that suggests. For instance, it was tied at the end of the 1st quarter but the defensive touchdowns by the Bears in the 2nd quarter were what caused things to go sideways for the Bills. Once Buffalo was forced to pass, it was easy for Chicago to close them out.
Here are some stats that might make you feel better. The Bears only had 190 total yards of offense on the day and were just 3 of 11 on third down conversions. The Bills had more time of possession by over 6 minutes and twice as many first downs (22) as the Bears did (11). The reason the stats are so skewed is that the Bears won the special teams and turnover battle. That was more than enough to hand the Bills, whose offense is the equivalent of bringing a knife to a gun fight, a lopsided defeat at home.
Things are so bleak that Buffalo hasn't scored more than 14 points in a game since week 3 against the Vikings. If something doesn't change soon, I may forget what an NFL offense in a Buffalo Bills uniform actually looks like. At this point, the only thing I can say is that Josh Allen can't return to the lineup soon enough.