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Brandon Beane admits mistake, doesn't realize own greatness

August 11, 2018

In a report by CBS Sports, Buffalo Bills general manager Brandon Beane admitted a huge mistake leading up to the NFL Draft. While preparing for all the possible scenarios, Beane said that he didn't consider one where they traded up for a quarterback in the 1st round while still keeping their pick at No. 22 overall. In all of his mocks, when he moved up he had to trade both of the Bills 1st round picks.

 

While Beane's mistake didn't cost the Bills, he was still pretty hard on himself but in a weirdly complimentary way in some of the quotes I made up below.

 

When asked to further elaborate on what exactly his mistake was, Beane said, "Had I understood how effortlessly I could make my way up the draft board, like Michael Jackson doing the moon walk, I would have foreseen a scenario in which we kept both first round picks. It was a pretty stupid blunder by me but at the same time, how could you stay mad at this face?"

 

A reporter then asked, "What do you mean by that?"

 

Beane went on, "All I'm trying to say is I barely even do anything to this face. I just wake up like this. Just like Josh Allen. He doesn't need to work out his arm to sling the football, he's just naturally able to toss it a mile. That's why we got him."

 

The press followed up suspiciously, "So you're trying to say that throwing a football far comes as easily to Josh Allen as looking beautiful does to you?"

 

Beane replied, "Well I think that's pretty evident. It's stands out just about as much as Tremaine Edmunds does in a crowd of regular sized humans. But remember, it's not the size of the linebacker that matters, but how you use him and we plan on using him to go all the way, all the time."

 

A reporter interrupted, "Are we still talking about football?"

 

Beane playfully replied, "I don't know. Do you want me to be?" Then he gave the reporter a wink and walked away from this fake press conference leaving the media completely perplexed as to what just happened. 

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