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Brandon Beane duped at the Gerhard Rock Cafe

May 13, 2018

 

Brandon Beane was walking around his neighborhood one night shortly after the 2018 NFL Draft feeling very good about himself and how he was able to secure a middle linebacker and a potential franchise quarterback in the first round without giving up any of next years draft picks.

 

A building he had never noticed before caught his eye. It looked like a nice spot and he was thirsty so he decided that he would try it. What Beane didn’t know at the time, was that this was not a real bar. This building was erected on the fly in Beane’s neighborhood, as part of a grand scheme that Gerhard de Beer’s agent cooked up to get his client signed by the Buffalo Bills.

 

The agent disguised himself as the bartender of the Gerhard Rock Cafe awaiting the day that Beane would walk in. After a week of patience, the day had finally come. When Beane entered, the bar was vacant besides the portly bartender who was watching rugby on the only television in the place. Beane plopped himself right onto a stool and smiled politely at the gentleman.

 

Bartender: “Would you like de Beer?"

 

Beane: “Sure. I’ll take a beer!”

 

Bartender: “No. Do you want, de Beer?”

 

Beane: “I don’t understand the difference but sure, I’ll take de Beer if that's what you are serving."

 

A wry smile came across the bartenders face as he knew he got the best of Beane. He poured Brandon a beer as a distraction and gave him his receipt. Beane, feeling awkward about the way the bartender was smiling, quickly signed it before realizing it was not a receipt at all. It was an undrafted free agent contract offer from the Buffalo Bills to Gerhard be Beer.

 

Beane: “What is this? Who the hell is Gerhard de Beer?"

 

"Me!" exclaimed an extremely large man who entered the room with such force that it caused Beane to tense up immediately.

 

Beane not knowing what was going on said, “Let’s discuss this!”

 

de Beer: “Discus? I love discus! Yes, let’s discus!” He picked up Beane and began swinging him around like a discus before throwing him through the wall of the bar in perfect Olympic form. “You still want to discus?"

 

Beane: “Nope. I’ll see you at work on Friday for rookie minicamp. Welcome to the Buffalo Bills. Can you please call me an ambulance now?”

 

Brandon Beane was shaken up by this experience but after having some time to research his new player and after seeing de Beer perform at rookie minicamp, he concluded that it would be worth getting thrown like a discus through a thousand walls if it meant a chance to make his team better with a player like Gerhard.

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