I am writing this so that I can finally come clean...I'm an addict and I'm only just coming to terms with this. It's not easy to say but let me be as blunt as possible -- My name is Dennis Moody and I'm addicted to "the process".
What process you ask? "the process" of course.
The signs were all there but, like most addicts, I was oblivious to them. Luckily for me, Buffalo Bills head coach Sean McDermott recently made a comment which allowed me to see the truth. "If we are going to get addicted to anything, let's get addicted to the process", McDermott said according to USA Today Bills Wire.
That caused me to wonder...How could anyone be addicted to the process? Could I be addicted to the process?
I thought about the changes in my behavior. I always owned a food processor, but only recently did I start using it to make all of my meals into shakes which I would drink right out of the processor.
As of late, I've been eating strictly processed meats. If the meat you are trying to serve me hasn't gone through the process, well then get it the hell out of my face. How could I trust something that hasn't been through the process?
I realized that I just couldn't get enough process in my life. I was crashing weddings dressed in a tux and trying to walk in the wedding procession just because the word process is in procession and it seemed like a highly organized leisurely activity.
My addiction got so bad that I even thought about committing a petty crime just so I could feel the extreme joy of being processed in a court of law. It didn't just stop there, it was starting to affect my work life too. When my boss asked me if I had completed an assignment by the deadline, I set him straight. I said, "I'm not worried about any deliverables you need by any so called "deadline". I'm focused on the process of doing the work so back off!"
After hearing Sean McDermott's quote about being addicted to the process, I finally was able to figure out the reason for all my recent behavioral changes. I could no longer hide from the ugly truth that I am, indeed, addicted to the process.
After learning about my addiction, I wanted to know as much as I could about the process. I headed to the Sean McDermott Library of Processes and that's when I uncovered one of the biggest secrets in our nations history.
As most people know, The Declaration of Independence gives us certain unalienable rights. We were told to believe those rights were "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness". However, deep within the archives of McDermott's library I found out that the original unalienable rights were "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of the Process". It was an earth shattering moment but all I could think about was that in the very near future I'm sure Nicolas Cage will make a terrible conspiracy movie about this.